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“How refreshing to find someone who really understands people, and can explain what they know so the rest of us can understand it too. If you apply the lessons in this book, they will make your life easier, more enjoyable and more successful.”
Richard Templar, author of The Rules series
“Nick's unique blend of business thinking and rich real-life experience is wise, insightful and authentic. You Can Choose Your Friends… is a book that encapsulates all of this.”
Matt Dickinson, The Times
The Amazon No.1 Bestseller
You Can Choose Your Friends...
Nick's best selling book distills decades of experience into a practical guide for building better workplace relationships.
It's honest, actionable, and refreshingly human.
What do the very best communicators do to get on with anyone?
What skills do they possess that allows them to win over everyone they meet?
You can choose your friends… (Amazon No.1 Bestseller) provides the answer. This book enables people to work together better, collaborate more effectively, function more successfully – all of which leads to improved performance. It’s about turning relationships into results.
This powerful and highly effective book will give you:
The essential six steps to success to get on with anyone
Tips and techniques on how to use them
An increased awareness/understanding of others
A framework to improve collaboration
Improved relationships with your family at work and your family at home
Nick Saunders
For the past 25 years, I have been lucky enough to enjoy a career doing what I love.
As a professional speaker, training consultant and mentor, I’ve had the privilege of helping individuals enjoy their work and thrive in their careers by giving them practical tools to make their working lives happier and more successful.
What I aspire to do best is empower people to get on with anyone and everyone, and I have the results to prove it. I have helped improve relationships in all sorts of organisations and industries around the world. My clients include: Sainsbury’s, BP, Schroders, BUPA, Madame Tussauds, The Economist, Marie Curie Cancer Care, Barclays, Pfizer, Mercedes Benz
I’m known as The Family Man because my experience has shown me that workplaces are like the family home: they both come with the same challenges, issues, niggles and frustrations. In this book, I punctuate this with examples of issues in my own family life to make my advice for a more harmonious and productive work life personal and, above all, relatable (hence the title – “You can choose your friends…” but not your family).
I don’t dispense acres of bland, general advice or mountainous, off-putting step-by-step processes. I don’t do management-speak, use high-brow lingo or make ludicrous claims about building a new planet or becoming a tiger!
I turn relationships into results.
Relationships are no longer a “soft skill.”
They’re the hard edge of performance.
6-Step Model
Relationships into Results™
Nick draws on personal stories with jaw-dropping honesty and his six steps to success give audiences practical principles for better collaborative working, which never fail to light up any conference or event.
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In challenging or high-pressure moments, a brief pause can be transformational. It gives the logical part of the brain time to catch up with the emotional part, allowing you to override impulse and respond with calm, clarity, and control.
But pausing isn’t just for stressful situations. Before every interaction—whether meeting someone new, joining a call, or entering a negotiation—take a moment to pause. This simple act creates space to think strategically about how to approach the situation and achieve the best possible outcome.
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If you want to work well with someone, you must first understand them. That means asking thoughtful questions, listening not only to their answers but also to the silences between them. Observe body language. Notice what’s said—and what’s not.
Curiosity is the foundation of connection. When you listen to learn, not to respond, you gain insights that allow you to build trust and deepen relationships.
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Once you’ve paused, listened, and learned, you’re equipped to adapt. Adapting means adjusting your communication—your language, tone, and approach—to align with the other person’s worldview.
Adaptation isn’t about being false or insincere; it’s not about changing who you are. It’s about flexing your behaviour to create mutual understanding and outcomes that benefit both sides.
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People are drawn to those who are genuine and consistent—who truly are who they appear to be. Authenticity is the foundation of respect and trust. It means being transparent,
Taking ownership when you make a mistake, and staying true to your values.
When your words and actions align, people feel safe around you—and relationships flourish.
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Humour, when used thoughtfully, is a powerful connector.
This isn’t about being a comedian or the life of the party—it’s about being willing to laugh at yourself.Self-deprecating humour shows humility. It signals that you don’t take yourself too seriously and are comfortable being human.
When you can share your imperfections with a smile, others relax, empathise, and trust you more deeply. -
Gratitude transforms relationships. When you genuinely acknowledge others for what they’ve done, you make them feel seen, valued, and appreciated. People are naturally drawn to those who express appreciation with sincerity.
An attitude of gratitude doesn’t just improve morale—it strengthens bonds and fosters lasting collaboration.
The Relationships to Results™ 6 step model is built on six simple, practical 5% shifts that unlock the next level of results in every relationship.
Whether you’re leading a team, selling an idea, or collaborating with colleagues, these six steps strengthen your ability to connect authentically, communicate effectively, and convert relationships into meaningful results.
These six simple shifts—Pause, Listen and Learn, Adapt, Be Authentic, Be Humorous, and Be Grateful—create a powerful ripple effect. They build stronger connections, inspire trust, and turn relationships into real, measurable results.